The wise and
patient men known as the brothers of Russ prepared for this
mission for several long weeks. This brave group collected
two bales of compressed hay, several hundred corn tortillas,
216 hardboiled and grated eggs and 2 gallons of industrial
strength bleach.
Having recruited
several highly respected volunteers, the brothers swooped
in to the Russ trailer park at approximately 3:00am on a moonless
night to avoid detection. Despite these efforts at secrecy,
a group of punk rockers were on the porch of the trailer next
door to the Russ dwelling. The team wieghed their options
and decided to press on with their mission.
The heroes immediately
set about carefully distributing the two bales of compressed
hay. For what seemed like an eternity the highly organized
team deliberately placed the hay in a measured layer two feet
deep throughout the Russ property. While several team members
placed the hay, another courageous volunteer grabbed the bleach
and carefully wrote "EAT ME!" in giant letters on
the Russ lawn.
When all those
materials had been meticulously strewn about the Russ property
all of the team began to sprinkle the 216 hardboiled and grated
eggs throughout the approximately foot deep layer of hay.
Finally, all
the members of the incursion team stood at the edges of the
hay and began to fling the corn tortillas in a Frisby-like
manner throughout the Russ lawn area.
Observing these
brave and mighty actions, the previously suspect punk rockers
came over and begged the team of warriors to assist in the
flinging of the tortillas. Being a generous kind of folk the
brothers agreed to let them participate.
With great amounts
of jubilation the punk rockers joined the stalwart team of
brothers and tortillas were flung far and wide throughout
the Russ property that night.
According to
reliable sources, the next morning Russ awoke in a foul, extremely
hungover state. Upon viewing the devastation Russ immediately
gathered his many siblings and vacated the premises even while
the manager of the trailer park looked on in horror.
After three
days of hiding Russ and his hoard returned and cleaned up
the utter destruction due to the demands of the trailer park
manager. Unfortunately, after roughly two weeks, a huge "EAT
ME" appeared in the lawn of the Russ dwelling which drove
the irate trailer park manager to demand that Russ and his
siblings leave the park permanently.