Organic Weaponry

Organics and biological materials are always a good choice for prank weaponry. It can usually be obtained in large, inexpensive quantities and decays rapidly in the right conditions.

Did you know that a small sliver of cheap fish can purchased for less than a dollar? It is a fact that if you place it in the right location it will create havoc in an entire household for weeks. This will usually produce a “shock & awe” reaction from your victim and all eyewitnesses to the event.

Finally, always know that your local grocery store, restaurant, landfill or garden can be a literal treasure trove of effective prank materials!

Eggs – These delicate little organic grenades have been used for thousands of years to irritate, annoy and offend people. One popular method of an “egging” is to purchase a flat of eggs and let them sit around at room temperature for approximately 3 weeks. Don’t worry, they will not hatch. They just get funky. To properly egg someone, you must create some ejecting mechanisms from toilet paper rolls, cardboard or other materials. Then place a single egg in an upper cupboard or door jam. Rig it so that the rotten is jettisoned when your victim opens the cupboard or the door. Even if it just lands on the floor and breaks it is very nasty.

Fish – Fish is the workhorse of organic prank materials. It is cheap, plentiful and extremely potent in the hot summer months. When placed in a foil pouch (to prevent seepage) and hidden in a victim’s air conditioner, closet or garage it can create great agitation in your victim’s household.

Squid – If fish is a bomb, squid is a nuclear warhead. While canned squid is hard to find, it is a made-to-order, first-rate weapon. The cans are small so they can be smuggled into your victim’s dwelling. Just open a can about halfway so that it can vent, place it a hard-to-find area and wait three days. The stench is just about unbearable and your victim will most likely surrender unconditionally.

Weiners – These tubes of meaty joy are valued because of their availability, cheap price and delayed effect. Weiners will not stink, they will not even really rot. They just draw bugs, rats and other critters. A great choice if your victim has a bug phobia!

Potatoes – Potatoes are a low-key prank that can used on singular victims, families and even some business establishments. A great party can be created by having a group of twisted individuals purchasing a hundred pound sack of potatoes and carving a population of potato people. Make sure to have them doing all kinds of weird activities and then place them all over the target’s lawn or business entry. Make it mysterious…

Tortillas – If you can manage to acquire a significant amount (300-400) of tortillas, they make a silent but effective prank weapon that can be easily delivered. Just wait until about 4:00am and creep up to your victim’s dwelling and fling the tortillas like a Frisbee.

Popcorn – Large amounts of popcorn can fill up office cubicles, vehicles, drawers, closets and many other great targets. It is also available for free if it is stale or rotten.

Spaghetti – A good choice for weaponry in a rain storm. Place the dry noodles in various cracks, crevices and openings and let it rain. Soon the spaghetti will swell up and go limp.

Hay – Several bales of hay can be spread over even a large lawn creating a nice layered effect.

Hair – Mail your own pubic hair trimmings to the victim. Make sure to include a letter offering to send more on a consistent basis if they want you to.

Limburger Cheese – Nature’s pre-made prank material. It is smelly, easy-to-place and devastatingly effective. Especially effective if placed on a heat source.

Liquids/Gels – These are good for the quick visual prank. Ketchup is a great substitute for a bloody staged injury or fatality to panic your victim. Canned pea soup or clam chowder makes believable vomit and chocolate pudding is self-explanatory...

Salad Shrimp – You can purchase several hundred of these for just a couple of dollars. Place 2 or 3 them in all of the pockets of your victim’s clothes. Most of them won’t rot but will turn rather hard and smell faintly. If properly done, your victim will be finding them for months or even years!