Many,
many years ago it is a documented fact
that Russ had a full, exuberant frock of thick, curly hair
upon his bony, knobby little head.
Throughout
the decades, the Hair Loss Division of the Russ Institute
has provided preventitive information to Russ. Unfortunately
however, Russ failed to heed our wise advice. While Russ maliciously
attacked his loyal brothers falsely accusing these wonderful,
brave men of causing his baldness.
Being
men of reason and good temperment, the brothers have refrained
from retaliation for these blatant lies. Instead, they just
occasionally slap Russ upon his wrinkly, bone-like forehead
and remind him that the Hair Loss Division of the respected
Russ Institute tried to save his long, flowing mane of hair.
Alas, it was to no avail...