May
1993 - Due to the increasingly belligerent and despicable actions
of Russ at that time, a meeting of the brothers was convened
to address the problem. After some lengthy discussions, it was
decided that the only hope to create a true and lasting peace
was through a massive show of strength.
It
was determined that two of his loyal and upstanding brothers,
at much peril to themselves would strike the Russ dwelling
with a terrific blow thereby causing an immediate cease to
the unstable and dangerous situation that Russ had been creating
with his recklessand disgusting behavior.
After
some careful planning it was decided that the attack would
consist of delivering and detonating 2 balloons filled with
acetylene gas tied to a tree in the front yard of the Russ
dwelling that would include a written message to Russ to cease
his hostile actions or face more devastating attacks upon
him and his dwelling in the future.
Several
days later, the heroic brothers gathered the acetylene gas-filled
balloons, some string, a long firecracker fuse and several
written notices to Russ demanding his immediate compliance
with the honorable and reasonable demands being placed upon
him by these brave defenders of peace. They even placed a
picture of Russ on this notice with a description of his recent
terrorist actions and included a recent pet-name that was
given to Russ by the brothers: “Sharky”.
With
grim resolve they set out on their mission. Having successfully
entered the neighborhood of Russ without being identified,
they parked their vehicle about a ½ mile down the street
from the Russ dwelling. They then gathered their balloons,
tied the fuse to the balloons (it looked just like string)
and with the written notices in hand sauntered down the Russ
street nonchalantly just as if they belonged there.
After
confirming the presence of Russ within his dwelling, the ninja-like
brothers approached the Russ tree and immediately set about
tying the balloons to a tree branch and distributing the notices
upon the lawn area so they could be easily found by Russ.
After lighting the fuses, the brothers began to walk back
to their vehicle slowly hoping to avoid detection by the always
suspicious Russ neighbors.
Unfortunately,
the preparation of the balloons had two flaws that the courageous
pair of brothers had not been aware of. The first was the
fuses. During testing the brothers had performed earlier,
the results indicated that a fuse would burn slow enough to
allow them time to escape and thereby avoid detection. However,
this testing was done indoors.
Because
of this small oversight, the brothers were not able to account
for the slight breeze outside which accelerated the burning
time of the fuse. The other flaw was the explosion test that
the brothers performed used only a small amount of acetylene.
These balloons had been loaded with a significantly larger
amount of the explosive gas within them than the test balloon
to ensure the message of peace was received clearly by Russ.
As
the brothers got about halfway to their vehicle, just when
they were thinking that they had completed their mission and
escaped undetected, a tremendous and earth-shaking explosion
of horrific force thundered throughout the land!
Windows
in many houses were blown shut, dogs began to bark and howl
and in a most alarming development, neighbors all up and down
the Russ street began to pour out of their homes in a panic
wondering what had blown up with such terrific force!
Having
lived through the blast, the two heroic brothers looked at
each other in horror and began to run as fast as they could
to their vehicle. The Russ neighbors were confused and disoriented
by the thunderous blast but when they saw the brothers running
past their homes some of them began to yell, point and give
chase to the brothers.
Fortunately,
the two desperate heroes were able to dive through the open
windows of the car and get away from the horde of angry neighbors
that almost caught up with them. As they sped away from the
scene of panic and devastation both exasperated brothers were
certain that they would go to prison if they were caught…
Meanwhile,
at the Russ dwelling there was extreme panic and chaos.
After
the explosion, Russ had run outside to see what had caused
such an earth-shattering roar and was astonished to see an
angry horde of neighbors had descended upon his lawn. This
vengeful mob was demanding that Russ explain the nature of
the blast and stated that they had called the police who were
now on their way to the Russ dwelling with sirens blazing
in the distance.
Within
the next few minutes, the Russ dwelling was besieged by police
cars, fire-trucks and pissed-off neighbors. Russ had gone
inside and shut the door to avoid being lynched by the angry
mob when a police officer knocked on the door and began to
question Russ.
Apparently,
when the officer asked the growing crowd of neighbors if anyone
had seen what had happened, one of them handed him a written
notice with a picture of Russ in camo gear and the name Sharky
that they had found on the lawn.
As
the officer questioned Russ about what he knew, Russ denied
any knowledge of anything. Suddenly the officer held up the
notice and indentified Russ/Sharky as being the person in
the picture. At that moment, in the officer’s mind,
Russ went from being the innocent victim to being a primary
suspect.
While
all of this was unfolding, the brothers urgently telephoned
the Russ dwelling. Desperately wanting to avoid the questioning
from the police, when the phone rang Russ gladly picked it
up and answered it. Hearing Russ say hello at the other end
of the phone, the brave brothers laid out their demands:
#1
Russ could not divulge who they were, nor tell the police
that they committed the bombing.
#2
When the neighborhood turmoil calmed down, Russ would agree
to a full and complete surrender.
As
the irritated police officer looked on, Russ listened intently
to the brothers and after a long pause said he would agree
to those terms and hung up the phone. To his credit, despite
the intense interrogation from the police Russ did hold firm
and said nothing of any consequence to police or the murderous
mob of neighbors.
Within
the next few days, Russ offered a complete and unconditional
surrender to the brothers. The nations were able to enjoy
a long period of peace, stability and prosperity due to the
brave actions of those two heroic brothers. While they did
make some mistakes, we still owe them a debt of gratitude!
